sstain: If I’m a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you its either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you Or I really hate you and don’t care if you know it Good luck figuring out which one
JT appreciation time
im sure if you follow me you have even forgotten that my tumblr exists. don’t get excited, i’m not back.
Can I have your number?
(Darrell is in the back of a movie theater when he sees a woman towards the front of the room)
Darrell: Damn.. Damn!
(Yvonne looks back to find Darryl looking back at her. She quickly turns away.)
Darrell: Oh damn! Okay, okay, okay.. Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute? EXCUSE ME CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
Yvonne: Yeah, whats up?
DARRELL: Oh yeah. My name's Darrell. its spelled like Darrell, but its pronounced Da-RELL. Aw yeah, I wanna let you know...the back yo' head is RI-DIC-ULOUS.
YVONNE: Um, thanks.
DARRELL: Yeah your are welcome.
(Darrell jumps to the seat next to Yvonne.)
DARRELL: Wheres your boyfriend?
YVONNE: Oh, yeah..Uhm, who?
DARRELL: Your boyfriend. Where your boyfriend at? Is he gettin' you refreshments? Is he tall? Is he gettin' you Mike-n-Ikes? Oh you like Mike-n-Ikes? Is he hefty? Is he coming back? Where your boyfriend? Where yo' boyfriend at? Where yo boyfriend?
YVONNE: I don't - I don't have a boyfriend...
DARRELL: Oh you don't! Oh you don't have a boyfriend! Oh okay...okay okay...that's cool. Yeah... so listen, um, i was wondering - Can I have yo' numba? Can I have yo' numba?
YVONNE: I don't give out my number...in theaters...when I'm about to watch a movie...
DARRELL: Oh oh okay... okay that's cool, that's cool..I get it, you know...you all into pondering like cinema, like make believe, and celluloids.. okay you know...yeah yeah, me too me too...yeah, I respect that. Keep doin' yo' thing Miss Shalit! Miss Gene Shalit! Yeah yeah, that's cute.
(Darrell walks away. 2 seconds later he quickly comes back. This time more desperate.)
DARRELL: What's your name, delicate?!
YVONNE: Oh um...oh um, Yvonne.
DARRELL: Oh Yvonne?! Oh damn!.. hold up! That's a French ass name Yvonne! Yeah, my lil croissant, lil' cheese on my croissant. Yeah...(licks lips) So listen.. CAN I HAVE YO' NUMBA? Can i have yo' numba?
YVONNE: But this is my day off, and I just wanna watch this movie, alone... I'm sorry.
DARRELL: Oh okay okay. No, I get it. I get it I respect that.
(Walks away only to come back again.)
DARRELL: SO I CANT HAVE IT?
YVONNE: No, I just don't give it out.
DARRELL: Ohh, okay okay I get it I get it... You uh, you being all selective cause you got a ponytail! Right, right? You think a man can't handle the regalness of a updo! Right, right? You all like Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly?
YVONNE: No no, I'm not being anything 'cause I have a ponytail.
DARRELL: Oh, Vonny, Vonny, Vonny, Vonny, girl, Vonny, Vonny... Don't be insecure, girl. OWN THAT PONYTAIL! WORK THAT UPDO!
YVONNE: Okay, i will.
DARRELL: Aw, damn!.. You're kinda sexy when you take my advice, girl. I like that. Yeah, i like that. Yeah, so um.. so listen.. CAN HAVE YO NUMBA? Can I have it?
(Yvonne starts to move away. Darell follows.)
DARRELL: Can I have it? Can I please receive the secret code that when entered telephonically it will pass me through to you which means it'll be your beautiful ass number? Can I have it? No, come on can I have it? Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I? Can I? Can I have it? Can I have it? (sniffs twice) Can I have it?
YVONNE: No, the previews are about to start and I - and I just... I wanna ponder them.. alone so.. But thanks, anyways.
DARRELL: Oh okay. Okay alright, that's cool. That's cool. No, I know, I know, I get it. Oh, you wanna go through all the intricacies of cinema, okay okay yeah, so you keep - you keep doing yo thing, you know. Yvonne Shally! Yvonne Shally! My little brie, yeah! Okay bye alright aright. I'ma miss you though, I'ma miss you! Alright you enjoy yo' day girl, alright? Take care! Alright.. (ILoveYou.)